Interesting people

Have you come across some people who give you that feeling that they must always be 'one-up'? Is it their inferiority complex manifesting as superiority complex? I'm not a psychologist...so why am I writing this post? I guess I'm just wondering why some people do things they do or say things they say that give you this impression.

They seem to place a lot of importance on what others think of them; of what they do, say, think, wear, the places they go to, etc. Does that have to do with lack of self-confidence or low self-esteem, or the opposite i.e. being absolutely full of themselves and overly prideful of their accomplishments?

Which do you prefer to be around?

The humble 'diam diam ubi berisi*' type, regardless of how successful or talented they are

or

The type that think the world revolves around them, those who show off, be it blatantly or subtly?

I'm trying not to discriminate either one here as both have its good and bad points, and advantages and disadvantages.

The former could probably be more well-liked by others, but being too 'quiet' at times may not get him as far as he wants to go. This is especially so when the people that matter are not aware of how capable he is.

Meanwhile, the latter could be irritating as hell, boasting all his life or always competing, but gets where he wants to be because everyone knows what he can do; it's just that he's too 'loud' at times.

I'm thinking of a middle ground. It's healthy to compete but it doesn't reflect well when you start to look like you must always be better than others i.e. 'kiasu' (afraid to lose). It's alright to tell others about your accomplishments, with the sincere intention of sharing your personal happiness or putting on record with your boss, for instance, what you have done. It's not too alright when you start telling others of your successes simply to boost your own ego.



* Malay proverb that means the opposite of 'empty vessels make the loudest noise'

Are you stressed?

Stress can affect your health. I have heard that excessive stress could lead to illnesses such as heart problems and cancer. I was checking out some information and came across this.

Some excerpts from it:

Signs and symptoms of excessive stress can show in our health, our thoughts, our feelings, and our behavior. Excessive and chronic stress can create disease and discomfort physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and socially.

More frequent "hot" stress responses can result in an inability to concentrate, obsessive thinking, chronic tension and anxiety, chronic depression or boredom, broken relationships, and aggressive outbursts. Our behavior can be reflective of our stress levels when we act impulsively, increase consumption of food, tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs; are easily startled, grind our teeth, or cry inappropriately.

Physically, we can respond to excessive stress by sweating, increased heart rate, increased breathing, headaches, backaches, tight muscles, changes in appetite, or even nausea. Over time, chronic excessive stress has shown to be linked to high blood pressure, heart disease, cancers, and increased incidents of cold or flu virus infections. The major causes of death in the United States are lifestyle related, and be reduced with the help of stress management.

So, if you're feeling stressed and your body is confirming it, it's time for a time-out before it's too late.

As for me, I'm back to drinking coffee, feeling tight and aching muscles, tired and bored, sleepy, lazy. I need a time-out. The question now is "When and how?"

Meat and you

This week, I came across two items that once again draws attention to why we should cut down or totally stop eating meat, especially red meat.

First, a friend sent me an excerpt of a video narrated by Joaquin Phoenix titled "Earthlings".

The synopsis from Google video:
EARTHLINGS is a feature length documentary about humanity's absolute dependence on animals (for pets, food, clothing, entertainment, and scientific research) but also illustrates our complete disrespect for these so-called "non-human providers." The film is narrated by Academy Award nominee Joaquin Phoenix (GLADIATOR) and features music by the critically acclaimed platinum artist Moby. With an in-depth study into pet stores, puppy mills and animals shelters, as well as factory farms, the leather and fur trades, sports and entertainment industries, and finally the medical and scientific profession, EARTHLINGS uses hidden cameras and never before seen footage to chronicle the day-to-day practices of some of the largest industries in the world, all of which rely entirely on animals for profit. Powerful, informative and thought-provoking, EARTHLINGS is by far the most comprehensive documentary ever produced on the correlation between nature, animals, and human economic interests. There are many worthy animal rights films available, but this one transcends the setting. EARTHLINGS cries to be seen.

Click here to watch it. I would like to warn that this video contains disturbing scenes but it is important that we watch it.

Secondly, today I received an article, "Red Meat Consumption Linked Yet Again to Increased Cancer Risk" that details some research findings.

How do you feel now that you have watched the video and read the article?

Ramblings on a rainy afternoon

God made everyone different. Nobody's perfect. We must learn to live with each other and accept each other warts and all. There are times we must be tolerant. There are times we must lay our cards on the table and get it straight, communicate, debate. But this must be done with the understanding from both parties that the ultimate goal for letting it all out is for better understanding and acceptance.

Name-calling, tantrums, unreasonable accusations, irrational actions would only hurt and not achieve anything positive. When one party is hurt, especially unfairly, the tendency is to react 'an eye for an eye'. It requires great effort, love and generosity to forgive. It requires humility, love and courage to ask for forgiveness. Egos must be set aside. Constructive feedback should be taken positively and viewed objectively, not emotionally. Critique should be given fairly, unemotionally, constructively, with relevant knowledge and not hearsay, biased opinion or assumptions. We must build, not destroy.

For what is life if it is always lived in anger, hatred and bitterness? It is a life with poison within your heart that pumps through your arteries and veins. Lava from an angry volcano destroys all in its path. A tree with poisonous roots bears poisonous fruits.

Love
1 Cor. 13

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud. It is not rude,
it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes
always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are
prophecies, they will cease; where there
are tongues, they will be stilled;
where there is knowledge, it will come to pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when perfection comes,
the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child,
I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I put childish ways
behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection;
then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part;
then I shall know fully, even as I am full known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.

Faith
by Beth Fagan Quinn

Faith begins by believing
in your heart that what is right
has a chance.

Faith is knowing in your heart
that good can overcome evil,
that the sun can shine
in a rainstorm.

Faith is peaceful
and comforting, because it
comes from within
where no one can invade
your private dreams.

Faith is not something
you can demand or command;
it is a result of commitment to belief.

Faith is believing in something
you can't see or hear,
something deep inside
that only you understand
and control.

Faith is trusting in yourself
enough to know that no matter
how things turn out,
you will make
the best of them.


Hope
by Anonymous

Hope is not the closing of your eyes
to the difficulty, the risk,
or the failure.

It is a trust that ...
If I fail now...
I shall not fail forever;
and if I am hurt,
I shall be healed.

It is a trust that
life is good,
love is powerful,
and the future is full of promise.

When it rains, it pours

Somehow, today didn't quite turn out much better than yesterday. I lost some money. Someone had taken it and I'm very sure of how it happened and who possibly took it because I had withdrawn the money from the ATM just before visiting that place. And after I was done at that place, I didn't use any cash at all. I paid using a credit card and went straight home after that.

I only discovered a portion of the total I withdrew missing after I got home. It was then that I realised that momentarily-strange feeling I had when I was removing my purse from my handbang to get my credit card. The purse was not in the section of my handbag I usually kept it in.

I have no proof but still complained to the establishment. That place has only three staff, the manager who didn't attend to me, and two staff who attended to me. The manager vouches for the honesty of the senior staff but was not able to do so for the newer one. She called back later and said she had questioned her staff and did a search but zilch. She has offered to reimburse me half the amount I lost and 'repay' the other half through her services....

The washing machine guy could not make it today at my specified time to replace the faulty part so I'll have to wait till tomorrow morning.

And while writing this post, I got a call. My grandma who is still in ICU is now critical - complication from the surgery. Her children are now deciding whether she goes for another surgery or not. Either way, the outcome is not promising.

I visited her last Saturday in my hometown two hours' drive away from where I live. She was in the ICU and was asleep so I did not get to talk to her. Caitlin made her a get-well card. I wonder if she saw it....Caitlin was disappointed that she could not see her great-grandma because ICU does not allow children visitors.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards" -- Goethe