Happy Chinese New Year of the Dragon!

Come Monday, we will celebrate the new lunar year of the dragon. School will be closed for the entire week and E has also taken extra days off work to be free for the week. This year, like in past years, we are celebrating Chinese New Year modestly. We exchange food hampers with immediate family, get together for the reunion dinner, give the kids angpows, visit my parents on the second day and meet up with a small group of friends where possible.

I didn't do any special spring cleaning of the house. Neither have we put up any decorations so far! We're even slower in getting into the CNY spirit this year compared to last year. At least last year, we took out whatever little decor items we had in storage and hung them around the house. This year, we didn't buy any and have been too lazy to dig the old ones out of storage. Today, my mum gave me two cardboard cutout dragon motif decor pieces so I shall put them up tomorrow morning. Otherwise, it will be obsolete next year. Two days ago, I went on an express shopping trip to get some new clothes for ACE as a symbolic act of having something new.

It is customary to have as much as possible things that are new in the house and on ourselves -- out with the old, in with the new for a good, fresh start to the new year. Back in the day, the entire house will be washed inside and outside, repainted, old cushion covers, curtains, sheets replaced with new ones, and several sets of new clothes including pyjamas, undergarments, shoes, accessories will be bought or tailored. The kitchen will be bustling and emanating with various aromatic odours of festive dishes and other goodies like cookies, cakes and 'nian gao'. And it is common understanding that all homes are open to visitors so we can just go to our family's and friends' houses anytime we wish.

These days, everything is commercialised from spring cleaning (hired cleaners from cleaning agencies), to new clothes (so many choices from boutiques and departmental stores), to cookies and nian gao (no need to make your own, you can buy them from just about anyone/anywhere). And open houses are 'organised' with invitations for guests to come on a certain day at specified times.

Aah, I could go on and on comparing the CNY I experienced as a child compared to the one C has been experiencing but I guess we've only got ourselves to blame for not carrying on the same practices. It's also partly due to the fact that times have changed.

Whatever it is, we just need to remember that it's not so much the activities of the festival but the spirit of it and more importantly that it's spent with family and friends. And C is definitely getting into the spirit so to speak, as portrayed in this dialogue I had with her a few moments ago:

Me to C who had been watching TV all evening: It looks like you're not going to get any homework done today!
C: Come on, I gotta celebrate....
Me, puzzled: Celebrate what??
C: Chinese New Year!!

So here's wishing one and all a new year of good health, wealth and prosperity, as how it's typically worded for this festive occasion.

Gong Xi Fa Cai! Xin Nian Kuai Le! Wan Shi Ru Yi!

Lunch with mothers

Every now and then, I have lunch with one or two mothers whose children are Caitlin's peers at school. We see one another at school when we are there to pick up our kids and chat a bit while we wait. Recently, we came up with the idea of lunching together as and when we're able since we are around the school vicinity at about the same time. It is a good change from having to eat leftovers at home, eating in the car while waiting, or eating alone outside. And there are relatively nice and affordable 'makan' places in the school neighbourhood.

Connecting with other mothers is good when the mothers are of the same wavelength and have healthy conversations. We can share parenting ideas and tips and encourage one another along our rollercoaster journey as parents. It works when the mothers are open to one another's opinions, and have no-holds-barred discussions and banter. It is fun when we can just let loose and spill out whatever is on our minds and let the conversation jump randomly from one topic to another - about life in general, current news and happenings around us, children, parenting, food, cooking and 'women' stuff. We can learn from one another when we approach conversations positively and objectively.

It is not healthy when conversations are one-sided, with one more-talkative person dominating and steering the discussion. It is not healthy when the mothers start comparing notes about their kids with the intention to feel 'one up' and put others down. That is so 'kiasu'. It is also not healthy when mothers get together to gossip about other parents or children, or complain about the school and teachers unconstructively. I simply feel uncomfortable when around such mothers. I don't like it when mothers ask me questions about my kid, or what she's learning at school or outside, and then clam up after I share my info with them. It feels like they are 'processing' the info and forming judgmental opinions and keeping it to themselves. Yuks.

Royal Wedding

Thirty years ago in 1981, Prince Charles married Lady Diana. Today, their son Prince William will marry Kate Middleton.

In 1981, I remember Malaysian tv broadcasting the royal wedding live. I was at my piano teacher's house for my weekly lesson. The teacher halted the lesson midway so that she could watch the wedding. I was 13 then and wondered what the hype was all about. Such events seemed so distant from my own little world in a small and relatively 'backward' town. The only 'overseas' country I had travelled to then was Singapore; unlike jetsetting kids and babies these days whose (rich) parents take them on overseas holidays every school holiday. To me at that time, it was more like 'so what if some famous prince is getting married'?

As Lady Diana walked down the aisle, my teacher told me that the music playing was the Trumpet Voluntary. That was the first time I heard it and it was the one thing I learnt and remembered of that particular day.

Now thanks to YouTube, I can watch the wedding again.


However, it's sad to note that such a grand and joyous event slowly evolved into one stormy saga which ended tragically.

May Prince William and Kate Middleton's marriage have a fairytale ending.

Sigh....

I read this post on Facebook when someone shared it and felt the need to share it here. It's sad to read about incidents such as this one, and also disappointing (that's a rather mild adjective to use in fact) to note how help which you would expect to be available almost immediately, was just not available until it was too late. Why does it always require lives lost before people realise that nothing should be taken for granted, discounted or overlooked when organising such events?

The note below was written by a participant of the marathon, Toh Yit Ming

A Tragic Incident at Standard Chartered KL Marathon 2010Share. Today at 1:55pm



I would like to share a tragic incident that happened at Standard Chartered KL Marathon today…


When i was running my final 2 km on the 10km… as i was running along the road in front of Dewan Bandaraya Kuala Lumpur, i saw a guy was sitting on the road side then soon enough he collapsed…

this incident attracted my attention as a guy(a training doctor, named Irkhan) that was trying to help him was shouting for medic..


as i was a trained EFR, i ran over to see what is happening.. (it was around 1 hour into the race for 10km runners)

i got to know that the guy (named Lim) has collapsed and was having seizure.. we tried to place him in recovery position… he was breathing very heavily and shortly and he was also biting his teeth very very hard… i was afraid that he will hurt himself (with either biting his own tongue or he closed up his airway).. so i tried to open up his jaw and tried to communicate wif him to have him relax and breath easily.. he then slowed down his breathing and taking deeper breath…


another lady (lady A) came to help and constantly monitor on his pulse… and Dr. Visva (was another participant in the run) came over to help…

Then suddenly, his pulse was gone… then we lied him flat and started on CPR procedures… we constantly check on his pulse to check whether his pulse has come back.. we did chest compression and also mouth-to-mouth breathing to Lim…


as we were doing the CPR procedures, we did not sight medic anywhere.. and we tried to shout as loud as possible for medic…

After awhile into the CPR procedures, "lady A" said that she could feel his pulse but was very weak.. then we stopped the CPR procedures to see whether he regain consciousness or not…


After i stopped the chest compression on Lim, i started shouting for medic services again with the hope that a medic services is nearby and heard us.. but unfortunately not… we only sighted 3 DBKL Officers(with big motorcycles) just stood by the road side and just stare… the did not come over to help or to check out what happened… (it was around 10 minutes that Lim collapse and had seizure)…

after a moment, Lim loose his pulse again.. we started CPR procedures again.. we still did not sight an ambulance or any EMS(Emergency Medical Services) around… after approximately 30 compression, Lim regained his pulse but was very very weak.. and yet.. there was still no ambulance or EMS sighted… and DBKL officers still stood there and did not came over to help… so I informed a passer by to run to the officers to tell them to call for an EMS soonest possible...

after we performed CPR procedures on Lim for the the third time, finally a St. John ambulance came after around 15 - 20 minutes after Lim collapsed…

we let the EMS officers to take over the CPR and First Aid… Dr. Visva asked whether do they have the AED(Automated External Defibrillator)… one of the person from the EMS said that they do not have it.. then I asked whether do they have a face mask with pump.. they also did not have it there… THEY PRACTICALLY HAVE NOTHING IN THE AMBULANCE!!!!!!!! -.-"

EMS took him and speed their way to HKL…

we were later informed that the Response time for EMS is 3 minutes but it took them almost 20 minutes to arrive… and later.. as I was reading through the Runners Guide that was provided in our running kit…


There is a statement (at page 15) that states that "Medical Assistance - Medical Aid is available every 4km and at the Finish Area. Due to runner's physical condition, Medical Officials are authorized to stop runners and remove their timing chip"…

every 4KM MY ROYAL A*S.. I did not see any first aider, ambulance or any sort of medical officials along my 10km route… and if 4km was true.. it definitely will not take them SO LONG to arrive...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I got a call from Dr. Visva a moment ago.. he went to HKL to check out the condition of Lim and he informed me that Lim have passed away on his arrival to the hospital… T__T

Lim is only into his 20's and was running the 10KM distance…

P/s: please share this note to as many people as possible.. we will hope to create awareness on the inefficiency of EMS, DBKL officers and organiser of standard chartered KL Marathon 2010...

we also want to create an awareness that this kind of inefficiency have caused a life of a young man...


we will hope that the marathon organisers will take responsibility and make EMS a top priority in their planning

The times

It is easy to hide, avoid, procrastinate, give excuses when you are online. You just select to be invisible or block selected people from viewing you. You can choose not to reply, or to reply with words that are vague for instance. You can say you missed the email or did not receive it at all if confronted. Maybe it went into your spam box, which you don't check, by mistake. You can avoid issues and confrontations simply by keeping quiet and ignoring.

You can also use pseudonyms for email addresses or fake identities in chatboxes or social networking sites. You can change your identity, and become someone else without anyone knowing. Seems like anyone can do anything these days online. People can hack, steal others' identities, blackmail, cheat, spam, learn how to make a bomb, spread viruses etc

We are living in dangerous times...

I think I've been watching too much Criminal Minds and marveling at Penelope Garcia's tech abilities!

Autograph books

Never did I imagine that six-year-old kids would have autograph books to remember their classmates by. I guess I've been out of touch with friendship 'practices' among schoolkids in this century! My friends and I started collecting autographs only when we were in primary school around 7 or 8 years of age those days. Hmm, I'm tempted to dig them up from my boxes of old treasures to read them and have a good laugh....

School will be out for the year next Friday, 14 November. Come January, when the Malaysian school year begins, Caitlin and her kindergarten friends will no longer be together as they'll all go to different primary schools of their parents' choice.

One day last week, she came home with an autograph book of one of her classmates. That got the ball rolling. Thereafter, she has come home with a few more, all requesting her to pen a few words, provide her contact details and a photograph. I'm glad this century has given us digital photo and home printing technology. Otherwise, I'd soon be running out of photographs of Caitlin to supply to her friends!

And of course, Caitlin also asked to do the same. So yesterday, while she was napping, Eugene and I painstakingly did a homemade, custom-made autograph 'book' with personalised pages for each of her classmates and selected teachers to put in their two cents' worth. We had bought some fancy paper with Disney Princess characters earlier and printed a short request note at the top with a small photo of herself. She distributed the personalised sheets to her friends today.

When she gets them back, we'll compile them into a book. This way, chances of her getting autographs from all her friends are more or less assured, compared to passing one book around. Even if each child takes the book home for just one day to write something, we'll not be able to get everyone's autograph since there are 13 schooling days left from today, and 18 kids plus two teachers to cover.

Sigh, I sometimes am amazed at the lengths Eugene and I, and other parents too, go for our kids.

Finding and being found

It's amazing how you can find people through the most popular social networking site. I bet you know which one I'm referring to. I've found friends from near and far and from long, long ago -- those whom I've not been in contact with for 20 years or more even...it's quite nice to see their faces in their profile sections, find out what they are doing now (and everyday!) and take a peek in their photo albums. Most of them still look the same despite having grown older.

And it's amazing too how people can find me using this site. I've made friends out of strangers and just today, a headhunter contacted me about a position available. These are the benefits of technology, innovation and creative ideas. Who would have thought 20 years ago that such a thing as social networking sites could be created? All I had then were my school yearbooks and autograph books to remember my friends by.

I'm glad for such innovations. The world has become smaller and its people less distant.

(We must however be on the lookout for those who abuse such benefits. While we can find and be found so easily, remember that not everyone or everything you read out there could be right, fair, true, sincere, real....)

Lantern party at school

Last night, Caitlin's school held a lantern party in conjunction with the coming Mooncake Festival. This festival is also known as the Mid-autumn festival and falls on the 15th day of the 8th month of the lunar calendar. People normally celebrate it with mooncakes and lanterns.

There are many versions to the origin and legend behind this Chinese festival. One that is widely known is the story of Houyi, a powerful archer whose beautiful wife was banished to the moon. It was said that long ago, there were 10 suns which took turns to shine but one day, all 10 suns appeared simultaneously and scorched the earth. Houyi saved the earth by shooting down nine suns and became King. He turned into a tyrant and stole an elixir of life from a goddess but his wife, Chang-e discovered it. She drank the elixir and floated up to the moon. Houyi was saddened and because of his love for his wife, he did not shoot the moon down.

It drizzled last night so all the kids were disappointed they could not parade their lanterns around the neighbourhood where the school is located.

Rained in

We stayed indoors and participated in a story-telling session, family telematch (our team won!) and DIY mooncake. Caitlin made a little 'snowskin' pink mooncake with help from a teacher.

Caitlin's mooncake

Different trains

Gone are the days when I had bosom buddies I could call on anytime simply to chat or get a shoulder to cry on. We'd burn the phone lines for at least half an hour catching up, gossipping, making plans to spend time together.

As we travel through life, we stop at many stations. I guess right now, the station I'm at is pretty deserted. Most people and friends are busy chugging along in different fast-moving life trains, live in different cities and countries. We may pass each other along the way and honk at each other but that's just about all we can do (because we are in bullet trains in this century!).

It takes lots of major effort from both parties if we want to stay in touch frequently so we've somehow arrived at unspoken agreements to stay in touch on birthdays, special occasions like weddings, business stopovers, or in times of special need. An email or two spread out over the year, an SMS or two, short chats online, and dropping by for a peek into our blogs (for those who blog) once a while.

So who are my daily or frequent face-to-face contacts at this current station? My daughter, my husband, my daughter's music teachers, my extended family members, my daughter's school and music classmates and their parents, the cashier at the supermarket, bookstore or departmental store, the meat, fish and vegetable sellers, restaurant waiters and owners, the cleaners and security guards at my apartment....

How do stay-at-home mums get out more and increase their face-to-face social circle? Join clubs and interest groups, start a business, turn online friends into face-to-face ones....? What else? Time is the issue here, unless you are a stay-at-home mum of the 'tai tai' version where all you do is care for your kids using your mouth i.e. giving instructions to your kids, maids, cooks, nanny, driver but not getting your manicured hands dirty ....

I guess we can't have our cake and eat it.

Simple friendship

Caitlin met a girl who is also from Kuala Lumpur when we visited Kuala Gandah. She was there with her family, just like us, to spend a day with the elephants. They made friends with each other while waiting for the video show to start. After the show, they continued talking to each other while waiting for the gate to open for us to view the elephants. Once they got in, they went around together. They even held hands. Kids can become friends in such a simple way.

Internet relationships

Since the availability of the Internet, reaching out to people and making new friends near and far around the world has never been easier. Chat, friendship, dating, matchmaking, networking sites have mushroomed overnight. MySpace, Friendster, and Facebook are just a few the uninitiated me knows of. I bet nine out of 10 people you ask who have Internet access are on Facebook. Facebook is currently the top social networking site.

You can have literally thousands of friends around the world when you join such a site. Friendships can blossom and two people from the far ends of the earth can hook up, date online and even go a step further to what is known as cyber sex. Is this good or bad?

Definitely both, as time, people and real-life cases have proven. Some have had successful relationships which lead to marriage, some become close friends and soulmates, and some also become enemies and abandon the internet relationship.

Whatever it is, when we create internet relationships, we should be clear of what we want out of it. It is easy when it is with family and friends we have grown up with, known and spent time with face to face. We should however tread with caution when it is with people we have met briefly online (or even face to face), people we have yet to get to know well enough, strangers. It is easy for others to fake their identity, character, and personality online and that's where you are at risk of complications, problems, danger, and even threat to your life.

TV no-no

When you have a gathering among friends, especially with those whom you seldom see and should catch up with, what do you do and where do you do it?

Outside of home, on 'neutral' ground to everyone's ease and convenience of travel is one way. No worries about food and drinks mainly. But what if it's held at a friend's home? Depending on how large the group is, food can either be cooked by the host, catered, or shared ala potluck, or a combination of these options. The type of food and drinks served depends on the time of day or theme of the gathering, if any.

Entertainment? For me, nothing beats conversation in the company of good friends, maybe with some soft background music at the most. Unless it's a movie marathon get-together, the television set should not be left on (if it was on before the friends arrive) or turned on during the gathering in my opinion.

I find the television distracting and an anti-social element when you have company. People will start watching the box instead of catching up with each other and bonding. Some say conversation can still take place but it would certainly be centred around what is being watched, rather than meaningful chatter.

What if one of the guests decides to turn the set on himself? I think that is not a very nice thing to do. If the show he wanted to watch was more important than meeting his friends, then he should have just stayed home and watched it on his own TV (unless he doesn't have one!).

Maybe another reason for watching TV instead of making conversation is that the person feels out of place or even worse, is avoiding conversation with certain people he dislikes perhaps, for whatever reason. Still, I think he should not do it. Can't he just talk to others he feels more comfortable with?

What do you do if that happens when you are hosting? Tell the person politely to turn it off to avoid distracting others from making meaningful conversation? I think that's one way. The person should respect your request and be sensible enough to realise his mistake, intentional or otherwise.

Another way would be to have the gathering at the part of your home where the TV is not located, such as in the garden if the weather is suitable, at the dining area, lanai or patio. Some people avoid such situations by placing their TV in a private family room, bedroom or AV room if they have enough room in their house.

What is a 'Tai Tai'

In these few years of being a homemaker, I've received remarks from acquaintances and even strangers about how 'lucky' I am to be able to stay at home and 'not work'. Some of them used the term 'tai tai'. If we were to really look into the actual meaning of this term, it confirms that I'm totally far from being a 'tai tai'.

According to this site, "to qualify as a Tai Tai, one has to have lots of leisure time, lots of money to spend and lots of gossip to exchange. A Tai Tai would win if shopping were an Olympic event." LOL, but I agree! With just this simple definition, I already don't qualify.

And wait, there's more. It also says:

Real Tai Tai's meet the following criteria:

1. A tremendous amount of leisure time
2. Lots of money to spend. A Tai Tai travels a lot
3. Concerned about status, social standing, and owning the 'latest in anything" that is remotely hot (ie: Pashminas. Fendi Baguette Bag,....) God forbid a Tai Tai be seen with last year's style!
4. Keenly interested in beauty upkeep (pedicures/manicures/facials/slimming treatments). Will stop at nothing to eradicate the tiniest sign of ageing.
5. Often associated with do-good charity works and community.
6. Discerning about the company she keeps. Must be in the right social circles
7. Well-educated and global in perspective. Has lived on more than one continent. Experience and detail are what distinguishes a real tai tai from the wanna-be's.
8. Buy in multiples and only the real thing. To get a better price and for their other homes in New York, London, Hong Kong, Vancouver and Singapore, they will bargain.

So, I'm a homemaker, not a 'tai tai'... don't have lots of money to spend, no pedicure, manicure, shopping, travel, gossip, leisure time, let alone buy in multiples, have homes around the world; although I consider myself educated enough and I will bargain (for obvious reasons of course!) to get a better price.

Chinamen and their trophy wives

I may be generalising here. I don't understand some Chinese men, especially those chinaman-type of businessmen who think their wives are their 'trophy wives'. They don't allow their wives to do anything except paint their nails, flaunt their jewellery, wear designer stuff, have dim sum and go shopping, play mahjong with other similar wives. Or stay at home with the kids and be a 'good wife and mother'.

Good for those bimbos who enjoy doing that and spending their husbands money (although I sometimes wish I could be a 'tai tai' like that!). But I pity the intelligent, educated ones who want to do their own thing, earn their own money, and be independent.

These men think that if they let their wife out, especially to work, it reflects badly on them, that they lose face/respect and others will think him incapable of providing for her and the family. Some don't even allow them to do any part-time work or pursue their interests at all.

I'm not a hardcore feminist but I think women have a right to do as they please and contribute to society. I can't stand seeing women's talents go to waste simply because they have to be trophy wives.

I'm referring to chinamen in my culture because I'm not sure if men of other cultures are like this, although I know there are trophy wives in other cultures too. But it appears to me that most of these wives especially in the western world, choose and enjoy being so, instead of being 'forced' like some of the chinaman ones.

Time for more blues, petrol price up

This afternoon it rained very heavily. It must have been the signal from the heavens on the gloom that was about to befall Malaysian vehicle owners - petrol price hike again! And this time it's going up 40% from RM1.92 per litre to RM2.70, an increase of 78 sen....

At this time of writing, all petrol stations throughout the county are definitely jam-packed with cars queueing up to fill up before the price goes up at midnight. My mum in Seremban called to inform me upon hearing the news. So did my mother-in-law. Earlier I heard about the impending increase from my brother. My mum said some stations in Seremban have even closed their doors as their supply has run out! And my father-in-law, according to my MIL is stuck in a queue to fill up his tank....

Read here and here for more details. Along with the petrol price increase, electrity tariff will go up too....

Everything is going up, except our paychecks. Start tightening our belts and work harder to look for supplementary income, residual income, passive income....

Unethical credit card sales agents

As I was about to enter a hypermarket with Caitlin this morning, I was approached by a credit card direct sales agent. I've been approached by many such people before and I ALWAYS decline their invitation and temptation with all sorts of benefits (free for life, 3 years annual fee waiver, free supplementary card, etc etc).

Firstly, I don't need another credit card. Secondly, even if I entertain their pleas to help them achieve their sales target and get a free gift, I know my application will not be approved simply because I am a homemaker with no fixed income. Therefore, a waste of everyone's time.

Most of these people back down after I tell them I'm not interested or I don't qualify. But this morning, a young persuasive gentleman from ABC* Bank (*the initials are fictitious although it is a local bank with three alphabets for its name) approached me AND Caitlin with a nice remote control toy car asking me to help him meet his target and spend five minutes filling in an application form. At first, I declined but he was persuasive enough with his free gift toy car and his plea for help that I agreed. "Approved or not, it's ok, I just need the application form filled," he said. He was very friendly and even let Caitlin choose which car she wanted (they came in different colours and models).

He helped me fill in the necessary personal particulars and told me to sign on the dotted line. After that, he went back to a section which required my employer's details to which I told him I'm a housewife. He then proceeded to ask me if he could list me as 'self-employed' to which I said 'no'. Not giving up (I guess they are paid for every approved application), he suggested that I could still be 'self-employed' and assume I'm working part time!

Realising what he was up to, I took the pen from his hand (I felt some resistance initially) and wrote on the form myself 'housewife'. Immediately, his shoulders drooped and he said it couldn't work that way. So I told him that he was misleading me into lying/cheating and it was unethical for him to lure prospects the way he did. I had put my signature on a declaration that "I hereby confirm and declare that all information provided by me is complete, true and correct..." Imagine the consequences.

And in the event the bank had been duped so to speak to approve such an application, they would have acquired a customer that could probably be defaulting payments in time to come.

While the credit card industry is very competitive, banks or card companies should ensure that their sales agents are properly trained to handle prospects and be brainwashed with proper ethics and the do's and don'ts of their job scope. It is sales agents like these and people who are easily persuaded, not aware of what they are subjecting themselves to, that are contributing to problems in the financial services industry and the economy as a whole.

Training is a very important aspect that many organisations overlook. It is not merely equipping staff with the necessary product knowledge or technical procedures but encompasses other 'soft skills' such as ethics, proper customer service management, image, etc etc.

Oh, and he returned the application form to me and I took the car from Caitlin to give it back to him. As we walked into the hypermarket, I explained to Caitlin why we had to return the toy car. She already knows the no-telling-lies rule so she understood, and in a very serious and earnest tone, asked me to teach it to that guy.

Mother's Day

In times like these, I've wondered why we set aside one particular day to celebrate something. Take yesterday for instance, i.e Mother's Day. I guess we humans are forgetful creatures and we take things and people for granted a lot of times. Therefore, it is necessary that we make it a point to remember and appreciate a person or commemorate an event at least one day in a year.

Mother's Day came and went yesterday. It started out like any other day for me. I'm a mother everyday so what's the difference? I wasn't expecting anything special (as they say, best not to expect lest you get disappointed!) It's only 'different' when others celebrate your motherhood and appreciate your contribution as a mother. That's when entrepreneurial minds take advantage and commercialise the day (and other days like Christmas) -- flowers, gifts, Mother's Day lunch and dinner buffets at restaurants/hotels, promos at retail outlets etc, to make you spend extra $$$. But that's another topic to talk about.

So as the day progressed, I received wishes from friends, mostly mothers, two fathers, and one single lady. They were all via SMS. It just goes to show how technology has taken over our lives!

I received two messages which were pretty similar and it went like this: "Nothing compares to a mum's love. She looks with her heart and feels with her eyes. A mum is the bank where her children deposit all their worries and hurt. A mum is the cement that keeps her family together and her love lasts a lifetime. Happy Mother's Day!"

Caitlin's school celebrated it on Friday by inviting mums to join in the activities they had planned. Mums were given a piece of white cloth each and with help from their kids, turned the cloth into funky tie-dye scarves. We also had some fun with tattoo-ing designs on the back of our hands using henna.


This is the scarf Caitlin and I made.

And later when she got home from school, I got a card from her too.


Happy Mother's Day to all mums (sorry, one day late!).

Online friends

I have two options when I see my friends online. Sometimes, I leave them alone because I don't have anything to say to them, I'm busy or I just don't feel like talking. Sometimes, I drop them a line. Then I wait for a response. If they respond and are not busy, we chat for a short while. If they respond and are busy, we just say 'hi' and 'bye'.

If they don't respond, I sometimes wonder why. They are not at their desk? They don't want to talk to me? Whatever it is, a response, even if it's "sorry, I'm busy, can't talk", or "sorry, I'm not in the mood to talk to you" is better than a rude silence. Or there is always a status indicator that you can select or customise to notify others that you are busy, in a meeting, not at your desk, on the phone etc.

And if you can't continue chatting, please inform the other person. Don't just abandon the conversation. That's not nice at all. It's like leaving the phone off the hook halfway through a conversation and disappearing.

I think that technology is one of the reasons why some friends are not as close to each other as before. They think they can continue the friendship online via email, chat, social networking sites like Facebook...but it's just not the same, unless both parties make an effort to keep up with it.

I think it's about time I do some housekeeping with my chat and Facebook contact lists! Or maybe just forget about chatting online. Whatever happened to the good old days of meeting up, chatting over the phone or writing letters? I used to love the feeling of excitement when I find an envelope with a familiar handwriting of a friend in my mailbox.

Meaning of names

Do you know the meaning of your name? When we were expecting our daughter, the search for the 'perfect' name for her was aided by the internet, and a rather unconventional (it contained a lot of uncommon names like Andromeda and Gaia for e.g.) English baby names book for her Christian name which we found in a bookstore. For her Chinese name we used a Chinese names book with romanized letters and English-translated meanings (both of us don't know Mandarin, shame on us...we are what is termed as 'bananas' - yellow on the outside, white on the inside!).

Last year, when Caitlin had to learn to write her Chinese name in Chinese characters at school, I had to look it up again to let her teacher know. I then realised I had quite forgotten what her Chinese name means, as well as her Christian name(s). I only remembered that Caitlin means 'pure' or 'clear'. And I couldn't remember what her middle name Sophia means.

I did a search and found Think Baby Names dotcom which provides more than the meaning of names. It provides the origin, variants, pronunciation and also gives statistics of how popular the name was in past years. According to it, in the year Caitlin was born, her name ranked midway between the top 200.

As for 'Sophia', it means 'wisdom' and was ranked among the top 50 in 2002.

Earth Day

Every year, 22 April marks Earth Day. Our planet, our home, is now very vulnerable with the years of abuse Man has wreaked in the name of development. The media has been bombarding me with bits and pieces of news and information related to Earth Day that I can't help but give some thought to what I am doing in the name of conservation, in saving Earth for the next generation.

One particular channel on TV kept highlighting a must-watch documentary tonight at 9pm. It's none other than 'An Inconvenient Truth'. The newspapers today have dedicated some pages for Earth Day. The radio I listen to in my car has also been blaring away about today. Even Caitlin's school has provided an awareness piece in the 'communication book' to parents.

As we were on our way to Mandarin class, we saw two men burning joss paper (gold/silver-laced paper burnt by the Chinese for worship) by the roadside. Caitlin said, "Mummy, that's not good, because of the smoke..." and I agreed. Although it is a religious practice, I think it would be good if we could avoid burning anything.

The New York State Department of Environmental Conservation mentioned that:
The disposal of household trash in inefficient, low-temperature combustion typical of open burning may release excessively high amounts of dangerous toxic pollutants.

A study by the EPA, the New York State Department of Health (DOH) and DEC measured the types and amounts of many chemicals in the smoke from burn barrels. Burning about 10 pounds of trash in a household burn barrel may produce as much air pollution as a modern, well-controlled incinerator burning 400,000 pounds of trash. The EPA/DOH/DEC study showed that smoke from burning trash in a barrel may contain particulate matter, carbon monoxide, hydrogen chloride, hydrogen cyanide, benzene, styrene, formaldehyde, arsenic, lead, chromium, benzo(a)pyrene, dioxins, furans, and PCBs.

Exposure to smoke from open burning may have immediate and long-term health effects, including coughing, nausea, headaches, dizziness, asthma attacks, increased risk of cancer, and aggravation of respiratory symptoms, especially in people with heart or lung disease. Not only can open fires have adverse health effects, they also can become dangerous wildfires.