Monday, April 7, 2014

Nine years already?

Last month marked exactly nine years of my life as a homemaker mainly. Again, as I always say, how time flies. In a blink of an eye, the 2+ year old kid I stayed at home for is now 11+ going on 17. So much has changed.

We've moved homes, we've changed cars, changed schools, we've gotten plants and pets, we've experienced more of life as we grow older. She was knee-high then and now she can almost look me straight in the eye. She makes smart remarks not to amuse me but more to annoy me now. She had to be fed and changed but now she can cook (some food) and refuses to wear dresses and skirts, only jeans and tshirts or cool-looking blouses. She had to be read to but now she reads loads more books than me on her own. I can go on about her like how most mums would love to but I guess it's enough for now.

Is nine years a milestone? I'm not sure. Over these nine years, I've learned, seen, experienced, felt, eaten, visited, cooked, created, laughed, cried, screamed, shouted, made mistakes, thought, wrote, sang, played, made new friends. I could add more verbs if I continue to ramble.

Nine years of riding on a rollercoaster up and down, and driving in slow and fast lanes, and now in the middle lane. It would be good to cruise on autopilot but yet, there are some, just some areas that need piloting manually still. Such is life.

Glad and thankful I can rely on Higher Power all the time. Tasks and responsibilities seem to be increasing. So is the number of grey hairs, and the reading on the weighing scale! While the selfish me finds it a chore and pain at times in doing things as a service to others, I always end up feeling good. It is good to be generous, kind and helpful. It improves your spirit and soul. Never mind about looking good on the outside with branded clothes and shoes, and saying pretentious things to impress others. It's more fulfilling to look good on the inside, secretly, so to speak, where only you and your Creator know.

So what's next? Many tell me to, or ask if I'd go back to my 'old' life i.e. go back to employment. Should I? Do I know when? Will I ever? Do I want to? I don't know. Am I directionless? I doubt it. Was my education and work experience wasted? Only if you're narrow minded enough to think that. I do the little I can for now to supplement our income so that it's just enough to meet our needs. After nine years, I can't picture myself going back into the corporate world and running the rat race. I will run it only if I'm convinced it's good for me and my family, if it's something I'm passionate about.

Sometimes, you may plan all you want to get to your dream destination, but there could be unexpected detours. As the saying goes, yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. Enjoy the gift and share it.

One of my favourite flowers :)