Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Indigo children

We (more so I since I'm the one who spends more time with C) have been having difficulty getting C to listen and do all the stuff she is supposed to, when she is supposed to. Most times, she's strongheaded and has a mind of her own, ignoring our requests and orders, does whatever she pleases according to her whims and fancies. That's how her homework and music practice turns out to be last-minute efforts, or how we are sometimes out the door later than desired for an appointment or outing.

Even the routine, simple stuff like getting ready for bed can turn into tug-of-wars, making life very tiring and frustrating sometimes. I question myself at times, if we had been too lenient with her and giving in to her too much when she was younger, in the name of instilling independence of thought, the ability to question, make choices and decisions. Only children tend to get labeled as 'spoilt' and from the beginning, we have been conscious in not allowing ourselves to 'spoil' her.

We have to remind her to get ready and stop what whe's doing to the point of nagging, scolding and threatening at times. When she sits down to do some homework or for a meal, she tends to get distracted easily, think and talk about other things, walk away to do something else i.e. cannot focus. However, that does not happen when she's at school, where she is attentive, participative and compliant.

I sometimes wonder if she has ADD (attention deficit disorder). Other times, we tell ourselves she's only a playful, strongheaded typical seven-year-old. Despite the inability to focus or lack of self-discipline, she still manages to do reasonably well in school and other activities. While we have idealistic dreams (don't all parents have that?) of her ace-ing every subject in school and coming out tops in everything she dabbles in, we are realistic that we can only provide her with opportunities to learn and develop and the rest depends on her 'in-built' character, personality, aptitude, talent and desire to excel.

A few years back, I had come across articles which described certain children as indigo children. I had 'filed' it at the back of my mind. Today, while surfing through a child learning-teaching site, it directed me to another article about 'new' or indigo children.

Based on the article, C does fit 95% of the characteristics of such children. Every word I read in there seemed to jump out at me. I could identify with and relate to the situations described. According to this article, knowing that your child is an indigo child will help you finetune your parenting style to work around situations and bring out the best in the child (and you, I guess!).

I shall try to find out more about this subject and see if I can accept their theories, research findings if any, and if the info can be applied to our situation.

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