Wednesday, April 8, 2009

This and that

I've been back at the old place to use the computer daily this week so far. Had to come back today to write a piece for my contribution here to be published next Tuesday....

Made a list of outstanding chores for both the new and old place that need attention asap. I'm tired of living in makeshift fashion honestly. Some things I can do, some I can't. But finding the time to do them is hard with daily routine demands.

While waiting for our kids to be dismissed from school yesterday afternoon, Caitlin's classmate's mother was lamenting she hardly has time for anything. She is a stay-home mum like me. She has two kids, one seven years old (Caitlin's classmate) and another four years old. She has a daily part-time helper to do all her household chores. Her mother-in-law who lives in the same neighbourhood cooks her meals for her. In my eyes, all she seems to be doing is send her two kids to school and kindy, surf the net, drop her daughter off at her MIL's place while she goes to fetch her son from school, help her kids with homework, and then drive to her MIL's to collect her dinner....and yet she says she has notime. Aiyo, I hope she doesn't google me and find this post! I don't mean anything negative here but in comparison with me or employee/businesswomen mums, if she doesn't have time, what about us?

I only get part-time cleaners for two hours a week, not daily. I also have two kids, one seven years old and one five-month-old four-legged one (Believe me, Rusty is accorded child status as I've to pick up his poop and wash the floors at least 3 times a day, feed him, pamper him, train him, trim his fur and bathe him...). I write for pocket money on a fixed basis fortnightly and adhoc basis when someone is in need, I cook, do laundry, tidy up 3,388 sq ft of living space, drive here and there to do grocery shopping, run dozens of errands, send and fetch Caitlin here and there to school and other classes....and I only have two kids and am a stay-home mum.

What about mums who work from 9 to 5 or run their own business and have more than two kids and no maid or part-time help? Hats off to them. I'd literally go crazy if I were in their shoes. I've tasted the stress of a demanding fulltime job as an employee with a demanding boss and juggling life as a new mum with an even more demanding baby and incompetent maid, two years of sleep deprivation (Caitlin was not a good sleeper) and doubt I want to go down that road again, money or no money.

As for stay-home mums, regardless of whether they have only one child or ten)who are fortunate to have a rich husband and faithful, capable dependable maid(s) and even chauffeurs, thank your lucky stars and be considerate of others less fortunate. I would think these are the mothers who would have more time on their hands to do as they please.

However, I conclude that every woman is different. Every child and every family is different. Should not, cannot compare in fact.

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