Monday, February 9, 2009

I'll do it my way

Sometimes I get the feeling that some people think I don't do anything else except look after Caitlin and be her driver. And to them, that leaves me with plenty of 'leisure' time since Caitlin is now in primary school and not a baby that needs to be looked after and attended to full-time. I agree on the latter part but plenty of leisure time? No, that I don't have.

They'll compare that they have more kids (I only have one...) thus more 'work' but forget that they have a maid to pick up after them and do everything from sweeping/vacuuming/mopping/washing bathrooms,wash/fold/iron laundry, cooking, feeding and bathing the kids, tidying up the house, doing the dishes, taking the garbage out, feeding and walking the dog, washing the car, watering the plants.

So in actual fact, they are the ones who are only minding the kids' activities and being the driver (some even hire drivers so they don't even have to do that, maybe just ride in the car), and have the time to go shopping (and I mean shopping as a shopaholic and not grocery shopping)and check out the latest sales, read, take naps, have tea be it alone or with friends, chat on the phone, play mahjong or computer games. They know when the next holidays are and make plans on taking their kids to the latest five-star resort in some exotic place. Nothing wrong with that and maybe I'm envious but hey, I don't think they should tell me whether I should be having more time, and assuming that I don't know what I should or should not be doing.

It's easy to make comments when they don't truly put themselves in the other person's shoes. Probably it's not that they don't but they can't, because they really have no inkling and all they know is the life they have lead, one of ease and comfort. They'll advise you to make more time for yourself, indulge yourself because you deserve it and in a seemingly subtle and sweet way tell you how you should live your life. I agree we should not be slaves to our chosen vocation and should pamper ourselves once in a while but we should also respect others and trust that they are intelligent enough to know and do that, in their own way, their own time.

Yes, I'm irritated. For now. Honey-coated words laced with i-don't-know-what that are pretty self-righteous at times. If we don't do their 'bidding', they take it personally. They tell you on the pretext of sharing info and making conversation but they're actually trying to tell you what you missed or will be missing if you didn't do what they said, offered or requested. They really want what we Asians or Chinese refer to as 'face'. If we comment about them in return and not even with spiteful intention, they brush it off and turn away, giving you the cold shoulder. Well, I guess for some people, only their own opinion matters and must be respected and agreed to.

I'm merely ranting but have no ill feeling towards these people. I continue to be as sincere, courteous and respectful of them as fellow humans as well as I can. I share my opinions honestly and openly. I try not to be a hypocrite. I'll let them do things their way whether or not they let me be myself and do things my way.

Finally, this blog is my personal space despite it being an 'open' journal, so I reserve the right to speak my mind so long as I don't write anything against God, King and country (what's being done with the ISA ah?!)


mumsgather said...

Anna, now that I have a maid to help me with the housework, I STILL do not have the time and luxury to do all of those things that you mentioned. Haha. All my time is taken up looking after the kids, bathe, feed, nap, help with homework etc. I guess at the end of the day, its what you really want to do and what makes you feel happy. I feel happy "cooped up" in my house all day looking after the kids instead of out shopping and getting a manicure or pedicure or whatever so like you, I feel that anyone can say what they like, but I don't care two hoots. ;)

Anna said...

MG, thanks for your comment! Most times people who say these things are those who have always had maids to do everything for them even though they are at home, from bathing, feeding, playing with their kids, unlike you who formerly did not have one. I feel that even if we have maids, we should be the ones taking care of the kids hands-on.