Tuesday, May 20, 2008

A common issue only-child mums face

Why is it that when you have only one child, you tend to get questions and advice from people you meet about having a second one? What's wrong with having only one child? "She will be lonely", "One child is not enough", "Don't worry that you can't afford it, cross the bridge when you come to it" are the add-on comments. I try not to rebut most times as it is just a waste of effort.

Though these people may mean well and the concern is appreciated, I think they could have forgotten to be more sensitive to others' feelings and respect their choice, (and mine for instance).

Do they know the whole story? What if the couple is actually in a dilemma about whether to have another child or not? What if they have actually been trying hard and not been successful? What if there are other circumstances beyond their control?

On the opposite scenario, I doubt if there are many only-child mums who go around telling people NOT to have more than one child. I for one don't ask "How are you going to cope with so many kids?", "Aren't you thinking of getting a hysterectomy?" etc...

1 comment:

Yin Foong Lim said...

Yah, I TOTALLY agree with you! I wish people would respect our decision to have just one child, just like how we respect other people's decision to have more than 1 child, even if that's not the view we take.

And it's true - people don't stop to try and understand why you have only 1 child, whether it was a voluntary decision or not. It's like how people automatically assume that childless couples do not want children or are delaying starting a family, when in fact many of them are struggling to get pregnant.

I used to tell my one-lie friends (other parents with only child) that we shd unite and form a support group!